I've lived a thousand lives

Fri, 26 Jan 2007 05:06:12 GMT

i dont sleep anymore.
there just isnt enough time.
life is just a mess of classes, doing homework on the T,
and meeting, clubs, meetings, meetings, meetings....and work
sometimes people exaggerate when they say stuff like this,
but i can honestly say im not. nope nope

i dont even have enough time to entertain the thought that i am
turning 20 soon.
but i just did. and its not a happy idea so lets pretend like im 19 forever because
i prefer the suffix of 'teen' over the prefix of 'twenty'. it just sounds more youthful

Fri, 26 Jan 2007 05:06:12 GMT

noDuh

Sat, 23 Dec 2006 02:17:02 GMT

I just came to this realization today:

Whenever i'm in Boston, and its right before a holiday, and my laundry has piled up to include
every article of clothing that i own,
emily says, hey its ok. hold off. at home it will be free.
and im always like - OK ur right
but i just realized
that its not free for me becoz i have to pay for the washers and dryers here at home as well.
although the washers cost a refreshing 50cents less, the cost of dryers makes up for it since here
we cant pay by the quarter/10min. of drying, so it evens out in the end to cost the same.
we never have any quarters, so its even more of a pain to do laundry at home.

SO
emily, dont tell me to do laundry at home anymore. as i always seem to forget, it is not free for me.
while in boston, i always remeber montclair as a magical place where everyone lived the same -
until i come home and realize we dont.
also, i could have saved myself the pain of doing laundry during my vacAY.
: (
what a bust,

celebrity boo

Sun, 17 Dec 2006 17:43:27 GMT

semester's almost over!

i think im lookin at As all around so life is good

and my boo is famous!
not only did KC play on WERS last night (!!!) but theyre now on
punknews.org, here: http://wwww.punknews.org/article/21346
AND were reviewed in maximum rock n roll. AND
today theyre recording in a jazzy studio with this engineer guy who did
all these big albums, the only one of which that i can remember now
is the murphys' Do or Die.

soon he'll be rich and snotty and we'll live in a fancy shmancy mansion
in LA
sike not! this actually means that my children will not go to college.
thats ok.
im so proud of my boo. he's accomplished so much

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 05:53:36 GMT

so -
im home in jersey til this saturday and i came to see cleerdin
but my mother just told me (when i got home) that he's away at a
teachers convention... is this true????

will anybody be in the little theatre??

help out!

tthe future of boston

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 17:06:47 GMT

I recently read that Boston is now the most expensive city to live in. This was way shocking
because I always thought it was New York City or L.A. - something glamorous. I'm still
wondering if this is entirely true - but it feels true.
I also found out the cost of a monthly unlimited ride Tpass (now 44$) will be raised to
66$ (!!) in January. January is not far away and I still got 2 and a half more years left here.
There are way too many college kids in boston, and I doubt they can afford this. This is not
a small change.
And this raise is apparently necessarry to pay off MBTA debts. I never saw the reason for their
new space-age system (for those who dont know, the Boston T recently trashed the token system
and now use these machines to get single rides like in NYC and threw out the turnstiles for these star wars looking
sliding door things). they are POINTLESS and are WAY LESS efficient than the token (which was reusable at least and
created less confusion).
So I predict:
that in a few years, maybe a decade, if things keep getting worse like this, Boston will soon be a ghost town. College
kids will disappear because they cant afford to live here/go to school. Those who graduate will move somewhere else.
Those who are in school may transfer and the entire city will be run by all the old-money wealthy assholes who arent even concerned
with matters like t passes and college kids because these things dont concern them - they can afford everything.
Kids are gonna start stealing way more than they already do becoz those who will still buy the t pass will need to cut costs in other
ways - stealing schoolbooks, stealing groceries, stealing clothes, etc etc which we already do WAY TOO MUCH in my opinion.
Everything is going to get worse. Tpasses will become a status symbol, like an ipod on the T, and will therefore be stolen just as often
as one.
I dont think im even exaggerating at all because life is already hard to pay for.
So where should we all transfer?

7AM:

Sat, 09 Sep 2006 17:19:33 GMT

" hi, this is alex. i dont think i can come in today. o yeah, and im quiting"
cya lata

sweet sweet freedom

news in short:

Sat, 09 Sep 2006 05:17:02 GMT

- texas was awesome: nice beaches, cool cities, lovely rude hicks and super-nice southern folk,
awesome thrift stores, jon has some nice fuckin friends, went to 6 flags, and jon taught me to drive stick
on his truck!
-still havent quit h&m, god knows why, even though practically the rest of the staff already has
-em and i moved to our swanky (not really) apartment (not really) on comm ave. awesome location. lots of lovely noise.
-witnessed (so far) 3 potential date rapes, 2 thrown-out bar fights, plus many stupid drunk douchey college kids doing stupid shit, all from our fire escape so far
-i am no longer a blonde
-goin to jersey in october for the souls show (!!!)
-school starts soon
-the new dorm (the one that killed people earlier this year) looks like the fuckin hyatt or whatever hotel is mad expensive
-jon is back.
-lifes not bad
-the uno's across the street plays the same 5 songs over and over again a lot
-i think i mite quit tomorrow

Sun, 20 Aug 2006 19:26:54 GMT

today is full of lugging shit around, SOMEONE ELSE'S SHIT,
because he didnt move it out himself and fucking dealing with dragging
big ass couches dressers and desks and dirty skin-flaky dust mite
and other bug-infested furniture down the stairs, up more stairs
and chucked in a dumpster, while said dustmites,bugs and shit fall
down my shirt (and my throat) and doing laundry and cleaning and packing
and more moving and HUNGER and

none of this matters by the end of today because
TEXAS IS TOMORROW.

fuck everyone and everything, tomorrow i start my fucking vacation.

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 00:51:27 GMT

and:

i was recently introduced to the marvelous world of dumpster diving
and realized i will never need to pay money for food again (unless
im feelin sassy)

coversations with defianceohio

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 00:49:51 GMT

Q are u angry?
A yes
Q are u searching for a better life to live?
A yes

Q have you been waiting too long?
A yes
Q is there a better way to live?
A hope so

Fri, 11 Aug 2006 14:51:42 GMT

life currently -

10 more days till vacay in texas!!
still trying to find a chance to go to jersey for at least like a day
realizing i will be going broke after this month's rent
emily hasnt been home in like 5 years, which is only a problem when i need her
share of cable bill sike not

i need to visit cleerdin before school starts so he can like, give me one of
those inspirational motivational speeches about how anything is possible if you
try, doesnt everyone need one of those every once in a while? yeah
i miss jersey

and recently
this ugly chick at davis sq asked me if i was gay, i say no, she says oh, well you
look REALLY gay and i was about to ask u to have sex with me.
apparently, my ability to attract ugly (as well as rude) people applies to both genders.
how upsetting

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 16:47:29 GMT

tonite bomb the music industry is playin which is awesome coz i thought
i missed them last nite for the descent premiere which was hilarious
and i got a free ticket to warped tour tomorrow so the past week has been
pretty awesome actually yea

i hate how now all entries have somthin to do with work, but...

Sat, 29 Jul 2006 19:38:48 GMT

yesterday (which was a 16 hour shift for me) the closing crew
at work got a "talking to" due to "customer complaints".

there was a incident in which i was involved which was so not a
big deal in my opinion. goes like this: this chick comes into the
fitting room. she's shopping here like everyday, i swear to god coz
i see her there buying a shitload of crap EVERY SINGLE DAY. so the chick
im working with in the fittin room (after the customer leaves) is like 'man,
that girl comes in like every day. i wonder why' and im like 'i duno, i def see
her too. i guess she must be rich or somethin'. apparently the customer heard
this stupid banter which we did not mean in any rude way, we just talk about
stupid shit to pass the time. she told a manager that she felt uncomfortable about
this incident, which i can totally understand, and im sorry for that, but according
to the managers, she was so nice enough to not mention any names because she didnt want
anyone in trouble or fired.
the managers said this as if we were supposed to bow down to this righteous customer who
saved our sinful asses. i got mad and refused to own up to it (since im sure it was MY statement
bout her being rich that made her uncomfortable) becoz: 1.i refuse to think that she
didnt give our names away outta the kindness of her heart. she just wants to keep shopping there and
doesnt want beef with the staff since we all know who she is (she is a "VIP" customer).
2. i refuse to get fired becoz of some dumb rich bitch.

we also got scolded coz apparently, according to h&m headquarters, we get the most customer complaints
in the area. we all got mad becoz obvviously we're on fuckin newbury st and everyone is fuckin filthy
rich and expect us to wait on them every single second of the day without realizing that it is not a fuckin
chanel or gucci boutique, we r just a cheap store in an awkward location. they treat us like shit, and i spent
the rest of the night hearing and sharing all our awful stories about shitty customers while we cleaned.
nobody deserves that, which is why i refuse to feel bad bout what happened. yes, we shouldnt have talked
bout that chick. but if all our customers r gonna make severe and gross generalizations about us, then
i will continue to do the same, which means that they are all rich fuckin slobs who do not deserve our
respect. fuck work

babbling:

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 03:34:21 GMT

i feel like such a fraud at work.
i do not care about clothes, fashion, or the retail industry as some of these people
do. i do not care to 'move up' in the h&m company and i actually kinda pity those
who do because the higher-ups still do the same meaningless, fruitless redundant shit
that doesnt mean anything by the end of the day.

yesterday i spent hours placing security tags on shit i used to steal from the same
store like 2 years ago.
whats funny is that all the people who work here are the fuckups. they are (mostly) all
the people who did badly in life and this is their last chance at a normal, stable income.
they exchanged sorta, being free but abnormal, for being locked away but being considered
normal. they dress the same, they still got their perircings and their tats, and their attitudes
or whatever, the only difference is how theyve decided to live their lives from now on. and its
sad. its not like they like it but they try to make it something they like becoz they have to thinking
they have no other realistic choice.
some people talk about leaving, and do, but only for something similar. others have bigger plans they never fulfill.

basically, if u dont quit like 4 months after u're hired, u will indefinetly find urself stuck there.
someone shoot me if i dont quit in the next 2 months coz its already been too long and my vision must
be skewed, but i do not wana drop outta school and get stuck like these people.

and the adolescents are playin on saturday! so excited

Wed, 26 Jul 2006 03:31:34 GMT

it is time for a vacation.
i need to go somewhere but
is it worth comin to montclair for the weekend??

i need to go someplace else. whats a good cheap vacation? (other than home)

Sat, 08 Jul 2006 16:32:18 GMT

i was so tired last nite i slept thru everything.
did emily come last nite? i dont even kno, i just see
remnants of a hairdying process in the bathroom.
thank u emily for gracing this shithole with ur presence
for enuf time to dye ur hair

im excited for paul being in boston
im not excited for work

my brain hurts is, turns out, the best screeching weasel
cd ever recorded. my god. so inspiring

Sun, 25 Jun 2006 14:47:28 GMT

most of what i do anymore is work. its very frustrating
and is a peek into adult life, which i've realized i wont
enjoy much.
been sick for the past 3 weeks, hackin up lungsn stuff. winston
smith much?

goin to jersey soon!!
if i can get off work

Wed, 31 May 2006 16:45:40 GMT

so theres this creepy guy who hits on me in copley square
and said he's been watching me so my paranoid ass made poor
jon pick me up from work last nite.
people have been too weird round here lately.

jersey tomorrow! souls tomorow nite!
june's rent will not be paid till i come back!
life is sweet.

is it warm enuf in jersey to go to the beach yet and swim and stuff?

Sun, 28 May 2006 22:01:20 GMT

boston is so nice rite now. love the weather.
paycheck so far was over 600$ so i guess the slave labor is worth it.
its also very very nice living with jon.
got an estimate today on the next tat.

bouncing souls in like 4 days holyshit so excited
which means
jersey is 4 days.
im excited for coming home and seeing everyone. it'll be grand.
i miss home so bad

Sun, 07 May 2006 18:03:06 GMT

the h&m discount is good internationally!

currently its kinda lonely in boston, not gonna lie. coz
emerson kids have left. :(

i wish i could see cats. i wonder how its goin/what it looks
like/how the seniors are handling it and themselves.

Wed, 03 May 2006 23:56:35 GMT

schools over. all the emerson kids moved out today. it was melancholy
with all the rain.

one of my teachers gave me an alf pin tho which is awesome becoz one time
i bitched to him bout how a show like that needs to air again

Fri, 28 Apr 2006 19:35:21 GMT

just had my second interview with H&M and they are AWESOME
people that i really hope i get to work with.
if i get, ill be working on the new newbury st location
and i can be all like,
yeah, i work on newbury.
so yeah

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 23:45:47 GMT

school almost over
lots of papers
lots of work

whats eveeryone doin this summer?????

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 01:02:34 GMT

today was an awful day becoz it consisted of trying to be in two places at the same time - a shoot and work - and it not really
working out either way.
u simply cant hold a job if ur a film kid. it just doesnt happen.
i'm gonna be fired, or, "asked to give up my shifts" pprobly very very soon.

cant wait till weekend - NJayy, against me, cousins, jon!, gross easter food, etc. etc.